Dirty Laundry by Richard Pink & Roxanne Emery

Author:Richard Pink & Roxanne Emery [Pink, Richard & Emery, Roxanne]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Random House UK
Published: 2023-02-17T00:00:00+00:00

SUGGESTIONS TO HELP

Credit card debt, payday loans, unopened red letters, final demands, and bailiffs. The reality of being in debt, and having ADHD, is so incredibly frightening. It can feel like you are drowning with no way out, coupled with blaming yourself for getting into the mess in the first place. If you are in debt, please ask for help. It is imperative you remove the constant state of stress you are living in, as it is extremely damaging to your mental health.

Once you’re out of crippling debt, it’s about staying that way. That will take sacrifices on your part, and making choices that may feel uncomfortable. For example, not having credit cards. Overspending will always be a risk factor, so we need to protect ourselves as much as we can to ensure we don’t destabilise our lives.

ASK FOR HELP: It can be utterly overwhelming to be in debt with a pile of unopened bills. As well as being devastating for your mental health. Opening the first letter can feel like climbing Mount Everest. Ask someone you trust to sit down with you and help you, whether that’s a parent, partner, friend, or therapist. It’s a game changer to have some moral support facing up to something that feels so scary. There is nothing to be ashamed about. Asking for help might sound like this: “I have ADHD and I really struggle to stay organised financially. I’ve let things go too far, and it feels impossible to me. Would you sit with me while I open these letters please? I’m really scared.”

OPEN THE LETTERS: Stacks of unopened bills are far worse than whatever is hiding inside them. If you open just one of them today, you have done something amazing. There’s often an email address on the letter when people are chasing money, so you won’t need to ring anyone. You can email them with an apology and ask if they would consider a repayment plan.

CREDIT CARDS: Honestly, my advice would be not to have them, unless you absolutely need them for basic living expenses. Giving up your credit cards is the safest way to ensure you aren’t maxing them out time and time again. ADHDers suffer with impulse control; it’s just safer not to have these things on hand. If you do have to have one, set up a direct debit from your bank to make sure you never miss a payment: missed payments can negatively affect your credit rating.

PRACTISE: You aren’t awful or stupid. You have just been practising overspending and avoiding the horrible consequences. It’s time to start practising other skills—very slowly and, ideally, with help. Practise saving a little each month. Practise opening a brown envelope. Practise filling the little online shopping cart and not pressing BUY. These are skills that take some learning. You will get better—I promise. You are fighting against years of evidence that has told you that you are terrible with money. It will take some time to change that internal dialogue. But it’s so important that you do.

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